My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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