my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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