He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
