Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I will be naked everywhere
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
