Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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