I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
