with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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