I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
