Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
