Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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