Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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