thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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