sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
and she was petting her beer can
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
