I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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