I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
