just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
