This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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