Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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