I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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