just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
