you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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