girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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