so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
