areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
