Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
