Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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