When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There are leaves in my underwear?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize