DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
