Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
