Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize