i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
