Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
