i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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