Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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