There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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