WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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