I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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