How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
