You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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