Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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