so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
