You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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