Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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