I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I will pee on everything he values.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
