Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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