So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
