Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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