have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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