How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
