New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
