matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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