Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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