Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
