I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
