i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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