I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
