I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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