Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
