I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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