I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
